Oop. Did I Say Too Much?| Diary Entry No. 25

Welcome back to Unfiltered Diaries.

This one’s short, real, and a little spooky — the kind of moment that sneaks up on you. A casual chat turns into a vulnerable reveal, and suddenly you’re wondering: did I say too much? If you’ve ever lived alone, you’ve probably had a version of this moment. Let’s walk through it.

Dear Diary,
“Uhhh so the maintenance man came to my apt and we just chatted about family. At one point, I told him I’m the only person from my family who is in this country. I should have known better but I’m scared that I fucked up.”
— voikukka

First — hugs. And breathe. That uneasy feeling? Totally valid. I get why your gut is spinning.

You know, reading your entry brought me right back. I used to be such a creature of habit—same routine, same rhythm, every day. Back when I was 18 or 19, living in my first apartment, I thought I was just doing life: minding my business, playing my music, catching my bus. Nothing wild.

Then one day, my neighbor walks up to me like, “Ma, you need to change it up. I know everything about you.” I’m looking at him, like… what? And he starts listing it all: “Yep. You wake up at 6:30 every morning because you play music as soon as you open your eyes. You take your shower at the same exact time. You turn off your music when you leave the house. Then you check the mailbox, take the same bus, and come home at the same time every day.”

He had me clocked. He knew me to a tee. I was shooketh. Like, clutch-my-pearls, pause-my-music, rethink-my-entire-life shooketh.

That moment changed me. He wasn’t being creepy—just observant—but it made me realize how easy it is to be read like a book. That man taught me something I carry to this day: switch it up. Change your patterns, be more aware. His tip changed me. From that day forward, I started moving different. And I’ve never looked back.

So when I say I get that moment of freak-out—when you’re suddenly like, “Oh man, did I say too much?”—trust me, I really get it. Because sometimes it’s not just about the words. It’s about that raw, exposed feeling. Like someone just glimpsed a part of you you didn’t mean to show.

But here’s the thing—just to bring you a little relief: most maintenance folks are simply doing their job and making small talk. They chat with dozens of residents every week, in and out, and rarely retain personal details.

Still, it’s worth asking yourself: Did you get a creepy vibe? If not, chances are he was just being friendly and moved on.

Still, your instinct to to pause and reflect is wise. You’re not paranoid — you’re paying attention. Living alone means learning how to protect your peace, and that includes knowing when something feels off.

If you’re still feeling off, here are a few low-effort ways to feel safer (and actually be safer):

Low-effort ways to feel safer (and actually be safer):

🔒 Slide/portable door locks: These little devices stop your door from opening even if someone has a key. Great for rentals and travel.
🔗Chain or deadbolt (if allowed): If your lease allows, add another physical barrier. Even a cheap chain helps psychologically.
📹 Camera at the door: A basic Wyze or Ring pointed at the entrance can give you peace of mind — some cameras don’t even require subscriptions for basic alerts.
👢Fake-presence trick: A pair of big dirty boots or a jacket by the door can suggest someone’s home. Doesn’t hurt to stage this occasionally.
🔄Vary your routine: Switch up your schedule now and then. Predictability makes you easier to track.
👋Tell a neighbor you trust: Let one neighbor know you live alone and to call if something seems off. Community eyes are useful.
🗣️ Use “safety script” in small talk: If you ever want to deflect questions, have a go-to line ready like, “Oh my family’s scattered all over — but they call me everyday!” Then change the subject.

More concrete next steps if you still feel uneasy

Double-check your door and window locks before bed every night
Put a camera up (even temporarily) pointing at the front door from the inside as well
Tell a friend: “Maintenance came, I mentioned I live alone — can you check in tomorrow?” A check-in text can calm you fast.
If anything ever does feel off about a person who has access to your building, report it to building management and save dates/times of interactions.

You’re probably fine. But taking a couple of smart steps will help you sleep better and feel like you’re in control — and that matters.

If it helps, practice a little friendly deflection next time someone asks too much: say something vague and pivot the convo. Or mention your “protective mom/friend visiting soon” — 100% valid and works every time.

You didn’t do anything wrong by chatting. And you didn’t give up your right to feel safe. Both can be true.

📚 Resources to explore

Chayn’s DIY Online Safety Guide
A trauma-informed guide for digital and physical safety, especially for women and marginalized folks.

Ring Cameras
Affordable home security options with motion alerts and video recording.

Psssst… If you’re in the U.S. and you’re military, a first responder, medical worker, student, or teacher — Ring’s discount program has your back. You can get 20% off select Ring products through their Give Back program. Don’t say I never hooked you up, grrrllll 💅🏽

Addalock Portable Door Lock
A renter-friendly lock that adds extra security from the inside.

Fake Camera’s with LED Light
Sometimes peace of mind starts with perception. These budget-friendly decoys mimic real security cameras with blinking LED lights—perfect for renters, travelers, or anyone wanting a little extra “don’t mess with me” energy without the tech setup.

💌 Have you ever shared something casually and then felt vulnerable afterward? What helped you feel safe again?

Let’s talk in the comments—or write your own letter. This space was built for honesty.

You’re not too much. You’re not alone. And healing is your birthright. 💛
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