Baby on the Brain: I’m Not Ready, But I’m Sooo Ready| Diary Entry No. 24

Welcome back to Unfiltered Diaries—where we share the real thoughts most of us usually keep to ourselves.

This week’s entry comes from someone who’s wrestling with something a lot of women can relate to at one point or another: baby fever. That mix of daydreams, longing, and the tricky reality of “not yet.”

It’s honest, a little raw, and very human.

Dear Diary,
I’ve always known I wanted to become a mom one day. I would always say “a mom” when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I’ve had SEVERE baby fever since I was about 18 (I’m 24 now!).
I dream about having a baby at least once a week and always wake up so sad after them. I know I’m meant to be a mom at some point but I’m not in the right place to have one. I don’t even have a boyfriend!!
I’ve made pros and cons lists, I write down why I want to wait, I spend time with other babies. I’m literally a nanny and care for two 6 months old at the same time and still come home wishing I had my own little munchkin.
Does anyone else deal with it at this level?!! I even spend time putting together baby lists on amazon just to help myself feel a bit better 😦 it’s so so hard to not know when it could happen and just wait.
I’ve been tempted to take one of my friends up on his offer and have a baby. I am actually thinking about it (I’m insane and stupid I know) It’s just the quick thought and then I think that might be the stupidest idea ever. Someone please tell me they relate so I’m not along in this. Maybe I need therapy…
– Baby Fever101

Hey Baby Fever101,

You’re not crazy for feeling this way. Baby fever is so real, and it hits women at all kinds of stages. I personally didn’t feel it in my early 20s, but I knew if motherhood came, I’d accept it. Now, with a 6-year-old and a 1-year-old, I can tell you mom-ing is tough—no doubt—but it’s also incredible. My husband and I joke that parenting makes both the highs and the lows more extreme: the hard moments are harder than I ever imagined, but the joy? The joy is unmatched.

As American actress Gilda Radner once said,

“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary — it’s an act of infinite optimism.”

And honestly, that’s exactly what it feels like—equal parts terrifying and breathtakingly beautiful.

Here’s the thing though—I didn’t wait until I felt perfectly “ready.” Honestly, my first child made me ready. I always say: we don’t really get ready for children, the children make us ready. Still, while you’re waiting, it helps to give that longing a little structure. Set some personal benchmarks: What would make you feel more prepared? What do you want in place first—financially, emotionally, or even in terms of partnership? That way, when the time comes, you’ll feel confident you didn’t rush into it.

And since you mentioned your friend’s offer—let me play devil’s advocate for a second. Women become moms in all kinds of ways—single, through sperm donors, with partners, and sometimes with friends. But if you went that route, could you truly co-parent together? Could you live with seeing your child half the time if things didn’t go smoothly? That’s the reality of parenting without a stable foundation, and it’s worth thinking through carefully.

In the meantime, surround yourself with people who nourish you—friends, mentors, online communities, or even a therapist who can help you hold this ache with compassion. Remember, motherhood isn’t only about having a child. It’s about becoming someone who nurtures, protects, and grows—and you’re already doing that in your own way, right now.

Keep becoming the best version of you, because that’s the woman your future child will need most. You’re already mothering through your care, your intention, and your love—and that counts. 💛

💬 Have you ever felt this kind of longing before the timing lined up? What helped you hold it with grace?

You’re not too much. You’re not alone. And healing is your birthright. 💛
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