The Luxe Edit

Welcome back to Unfiltered Diaries.
If you’re new here, this is where real people send in raw, unpolished entries and I respond with honesty, heart, and maybe a little tough love when it’s needed. Today’s diary entry comes from a young woman navigating the highs and lows of a new relationship, while carrying the weight of past choices and the fear of what honesty might mean. She wanted a friend’s perspective, so let’s dive in together.

Dear Diary,
I’m worried I gave my partner a STI.
So I f20 think I might have gave something to the guy (m21) I am seeing. So, before I met him I got with like 4 guys in a month please don’t judge me, I had just moved and was drinking every single day); sometimes I would drink and wake up in someone’s bed from the bar- anyway I met this new guy and it’s been perfect. I have been seeing him alone about a month now, still drinking but at home. Anyway he recently told me he thinks he has a UTI. I don’t feel anything, no burning when I pee, no UTI symptoms. After the 4 guys and the bars I never got tested because I am an idiot. What if I have something, didn’t know, and gave it to him. I’m so embarrassed. He told me he isn’t mad and he honestly doesn’t think anything about it. He told me we can go get tested together and was really sweet. Although because of his work I’m just going to go early tmr morning and get checked. Like I’m freaking out tho what if I have like chlamydia or something not knowing and I gave it to him. Ugh- Don’t judge. Should I tell him of my past before i met him? Come clean, before we do the test? Break up with him to save myself from this embarrassment?
– annonymous

Hey Girl,

I just want to start by saying, I’m far from one to judge. Reading your entry, what I see is a young woman figuring things out, learning as she goes. Honestly, isn’t that what our 20s are for? You’re experimenting, making choices, sometimes stumbling, and then realizing what you might want to change. That’s growth, and I actually applaud you for recognizing it.

It makes total sense that you’re anxious right now. A lot of people worry about sexual health and disclosure in new relationships, it’s vulnerable stuff. But instead of beating yourself up with “I’m an idiot,” try reframing it: you didn’t get tested yet, but now you’re taking responsibility and making sure you do. That’s a strong, proactive step, and it shows you care about both yourself and your partner.

I hear how much you value honesty and connection, even though shame is pulling you toward secrecy or thoughts of breaking up. The good news is your partner sounds supportive; he offered to get tested with you and isn’t judging you. That’s a strong sign. I do think coming clean about your past could actually strengthen things, because relationships built on honesty are the ones that last decades. Since you’re already planning to get tested, you don’t have to rush disclosure before the appointment. But sharing openly, whether before or after, will likely deepen trust, especially since he’s already shown kindness and understanding. And if it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up; sometimes timing isn’t right, and people circle back later in life.

One thing I do want to gently point out is the drinking. You mentioned drinking every day, sometimes to the point of blacking out, and now still drinking at home. That’s a pattern worth paying attention to. Alcohol can feel like a way to cope, but it can also blur your choices and add to the shame spiral. Tiny but mighty acts—like cutting back a little, finding other ways to relax, or reaching out for support—can make a huge difference for your health and self-worth. You deserve to find strength outside of alcohol, and there are resources and people who can help you with that if you want.

So here’s what I see: you’re already taking responsibility by planning to get tested, you’ve got a partner who’s kind and understanding, and you’re aware of the areas you want to grow in. That’s a lot of strength right there. You’re not broken—you’re learning, and you’re brave enough to face the hard stuff.

📚 Resources to explore

CDC Sexual Health Resources
The CDC provides fact sheets, testing guidelines, and advice on how to prepare for a doctor’s visit. It’s a reliable place to learn about common STIs, prevention, and communication strategies

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
heir page for teens and young adults offers coping strategies, tips for managing stress, and ways to find treatment or support groups. They also run the National Helpline (1‑800‑662‑HELP) and the 988 Lifeline for immediate support

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
Provides evidence-based interventions for young adults, including motivational interviewing, behavioral counseling, and information on medications that can help reduce alcohol use. It’s a good resource for understanding both personal strategies and community-level supports.

Sobriety Affirmation keychain.
Whether you have one day or one thousand days, you are an inspiration. You have one day that someone else hasn’t yet reached. Your example can change lives.

Inspirational Bracelet
The phrase “One Day at a Time” symbolizes living in the present, focusing on small steps rather than being overwhelmed by the bigger picture.

You’re not too much. You’re not alone. And healing is your birthright. 💛
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