I Broke Up With Him… So Why Do I Still Feel Broken? | Diary Entry No. 12

Welcome back to Unfiltered Diaries—
This space is for the messy middle. For the questions we’re scared to say out loud. For the ache that lingers long after everyone assumes we’re “over it.” Today’s diary entry is for anyone who walked away from someone they loved—not because they stopped loving them, but because it just wasn’t working. There’s a grief in that choice, and it’s a lonely one.

Let’s get into it.

Dear Diary

“Me & my boyfriend of 4 years split up about 6 months ago and it’s been hurting so bad.
I was the one who finalized the breakup, but it was because we just weren’t happy.
But I miss him so much. He was my best friend, my everything.
And he’s still the only person I want to tell about my day—tell good news, or bad news…
Any advice?”
– Mayflower

Oof Mayflower… this one cuts deep. Because choosing peace over love is a heartbreak in its own category. You didn’t walk away because you stopped caring. You walked away because something wasn’t working. But that doesn’t mean you stopped needing comfort, connection, or that familiar voice that knew how to show up when the world got loud.

It’s so real to miss someone even when you know they weren’t right for you anymore.
You didn’t just lose a boyfriend—you lost your best friend, your witness to life, your routine, your “hey, guess what happened today?” person. That’s a huge shift. Of course it hurts. And of course, your heart still reaches for him in those quiet moments. That’s not weakness—that’s memory. That’s love trying to find somewhere to land.

But here’s the thing: missing him doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. It just means your heart is still healing.

Give yourself space to grieve—not just the relationship, but the version of you that existed when you were with him. The version that believed maybe it could last forever.

If you’re asking for advice—start here:

Write to him without sending it. Let the words out of your chest. Say what you wish you could say.
Tell someone else the news. Even if it feels awkward or not the same—start rebuilding that circle of support.
Let nostalgia be honest, not edited. Remember both the good and the hard. Don’t let memory romanticize what your soul outgrew.
And hey… some people say, “To get over one, you gotta get under one.” Wink wink. 😏
Take that advice with a grain of salt (and maybe a shot of tequila), but hey—sometimes a little flirtation, a hot girl walk, and a reminder that you’re still fine as hell can do wonders for the soul. Just don’t lose yourself in someone new before you’ve made peace with the old. Or do. I’m not your mama. 😂

You might still love him. That doesn’t make the breakup invalid. It just means the love has changed shape.

So cry. Miss him. Even talk to him in your head if that helps. But don’t forget: you left because you believed you deserved more than just surviving in love. And that still matters.

One day, your “person” will feel like both comfort and clarity. But for now, be gentle with the girl who had to let go, even when she didn’t want to.

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