Split Homes, Whole Hearts — The Guilt We Carry as Mothers

Welcome to Unfiltered Diaries, where nothing’s too raw, too tender, or too complicated to unpack. These are the stories we whisper in the dark, the confessions we’re scared to say out loud—but here, they’re safe.

Today’s entry comes from a mother navigating the ache of doing her best while still feeling like it’s not enough. If you’ve ever wrestled with “mom guilt,” this one is for you.

Dear Diary,
I know I’m a great mom but I beat myself up so bad about things my kid didn’t deserve—especially having separate parenting homes! Is it okay to feel this way?
– Enough25

Yes, Enough25. It’s more than okay to feel this way. It means your heart is still so in it. It means you care deeply—enough to question, enough to reflect, enough to want better even when you’re already doing your best.Being a great mom doesn’t mean never making mistakes or never having regrets. It means you keep showing up, even when your heart is heavy. It means you love your child through your own healing, your own growing pains. And yes—it means sometimes you carry guilt deeper than you should, because your love runs that deep.

But hear me: kids don’t need a “perfect” home. They need love. They need safety. They need to know they matter. Most importantly they need to see you be LOVED the RIGHT way. And I guarantee you’re giving them that, even if it doesn’t always feel that way to you. The guilt you feel? That’s a sign of your heart, not your failure.

You’ve made hard decisions. You probably did what was necessary, not what was easy. And while you’re sitting there wondering if your child deserved more—remember this: they deserve a whole you. A peaceful, healing, present version of you. And maybe, just maybe, a separate home was a step toward giving them exactly that.

I relate to this feeling whole-heartedly. We don’t set out to become single parents. But life? It throws things at us. What matters most is what we choose to build now. Your child can still grow up feeling deeply loved, valued, and secure—it might just look different than you imagined.

If you’re worried they’re missing out, here are a few things you can do to help fill in the gaps:

Create your own traditions—movie nights, pancake Sundays, handwritten lunch notes. Make the small things big.
Be honest, in an age-appropriate way, about why things are the way they are. Kids appreciate being included in the truth.
Most of all, remind them often: they are not a burden of your choices—they are the reason you keep going.

So yes, feel it. Grieve what you thought life would look like. But then, forgive yourself. You didn’t fail your child—you’ve adapted. You’re still showing up. Still fighting for them. And that is what makes you an amazing mother.

You’ve got this. Even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.

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