Welcome to Unfiltered Diaries—where real voices and honest questions get the heart-centered responses they deserve. Whether it’s a quiet confession or a gut-wrenching dilemma, we don’t sweep it under the rug here. This is your space to feel seen, heard, and supported.
Let’s get into this one—it’s complicated, but so many will relate.
Dear diary…
“Would you date someone or get engaged, or marry a man that your child does not like and does not want to be around? For point of reference this is an older child in his later teen years, a few years away from being an adult. My kid did not like my boyfriend while dating him and he recently proposed, I told him I could not marry him under the circumstances with there being no relationship between he and my child. I want other parent opinions on this. I already feel guilty for having been dating him knowing my child didn’t like him.”
— Anonymous
Whew, this is such a real and layered situation—and first off, I just want to say: you’re not wrong for wanting love, and you’re not wrong for protecting your peace and your child’s.
Parent to parent?
I think you made the right call by pressing pause. Romantic love is important, yes—but when you’re raising a child, especially one old enough to really see people for who they are, their feelings matter. Teenagers may not be full-grown adults yet, but they’re not just “kids” either. They’ve got emotional radar. Sometimes they sense things we overlook—especially when we want something to work so badly.
Could it be teen resistance or jealousy? Possibly.
But if that relationship between your boyfriend and your child never grew—not even a little—then that’s something to sit with. Because when someone enters your life as a potential life partner, they also enter your child’s. And it has to be a partnership that considers everyone under that roof.
You’re allowed to feel guilty. That’s a sign of love too—it means you care. But please don’t drown in that guilt. You’re trying to navigate love, motherhood, and your own needs all at once. And I see you doing it with integrity.
The truth is: if this man really sees you, truly loves you, and wants to build a future—then he should also be willing to build with your child. It won’t always be perfect, but it has to be intentional. That part can’t be skipped.
You made a brave decision by saying “not yet.” You’re not closing the door on love—you’re choosing to make space for healthy love. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
You’re doing the best you can.
And that’s enough. 💛
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